Today is my first anniversary of being in Korea.  I have not been back to the States in a year. I have not seen my family in a year.  I guess I should be bothered more by this, but on the other hand I'm beginning to realize that my teetering between feeling run down and going completely crazy may be a result of this.  My not really being upset about being away for so long is most likely my way of dealing with it.  I am putting in my leave request tomorrow for September.  I am scared to go home.  I'm afraid that I've changed too much and that things back home will have change too much for me to recognize them. 

Other things...  I've tried to write about them, but I can't explain how I feel right at this moment.   I guess the best way to describe it is I'm struggling to not believe that how you see me is how other people see me. 

I can't deal with he said, she said, I said, I take it back shit anymore.  I have to much to deal with right now on my own.  If I take yours on also I won't be able to handle it.  That's why I run away.